The Big Black Dog Gets a Bath…..
It is a nice spring day, the sun is shining, and light fluffy clouds hang high in the sky. My dog Zeus is outside in the back yard digging crazily right next to my pink and purple tulips. The ground is muddy from the last three days of rain and at the corner of the yard a big puddle still remains. I call out in a loud voice for him to come; he lifts his big head and looks at me as if he may have just heard something, but is not sure what, so he turns his attention back to the hole he is digging. Today is bath day, the day we both dread, my big moose of a dog that outweighs me is never overly excited to take part in this activity.
My 135 pound Rottweiler finally leaves his crater in the yard as I wave a treat in the air, He clumsily runs toward me as drool hangs from his jowls. Once Zeus is inside, he gobbles the treat so fast that I am sure he didn’t even taste it. I search for all the supplies I will need to get him squeaky clean. I gather up five towels, his shampoo, conditioner, and finally the bath mat for the bottom of the tub so he doesn’t slip and fall. I glance quickly at the shampoo and conditioner as I set them down on the edge of the tub and notice they are half gone already after only three baths. I have to use a quarter of a bottle for each bath because there is a lot of dog to soap up.
As I get everything set up in the bathroom, I peek into the living room to see my dog pretending to be asleep in his bed. He knows I am getting ready to give him his bath and will do anything to get out of it. I pull the grey shower curtain to one side and place the bath mat on the bottom of the tub. Now all I need is to change into some clothes that can get soaking wet. I then find Zeus snoozing in his bed like he has been asleep for hours when in actuality, he was digging crazily in the yard only ten minutes ago. I tell him it is time for his bath, he opens one eye and looks at me, and he then rolls over onto his back for a belly rub, which looks silly because he is the size of a pony. I try not to giggle so he knows I am serious and tell him again to go to go get in the tub because it is time for his bath. Since his belly rub technique is not working, he gets up and goes to the front door looking at his leash, implying now would be a good time for a walk. I sternly tell him that he can go for a walk later, but has to take a bath first. He finally gives up and makes his way slowly and sadly to the bathroom. He jumps in the tub and stands there with a pleading look on his face. He really hates bath time.
I can now start this two hour, back breaking process. I use the shower hose to get him soaking wet and he makes this difficult by shaking all the water off that I am putting on him. Once he is fully soaked, I give the shampoo bottle a good shaking, one big squeeze, and begin to lather. I lather for about fifteen minutes to make sure I cover him well. Once lathered, the shampoo has to sit on him for ten minutes before rinsing. I turn my back for one second to reach for the washcloth to clean his face with and he decides he is clean enough and jumps out of the tub, runs down the hall into the living room dripping soapy bubbles and water behind him as he goes, looking over his shoulder he checks to see if I am following him. Of course I am right on his tail and I am not happy! He knows this and gives me his best version of his sad puppy dog eyes as he sits again in his bed pleading with me that he is clean enough. I don’t say a word to him as the anger boils inside me, all I do is point to the bathroom and I think he knows that finishing the bath is the better choice because he walks slowly with his head down back to the bathtub. Now that the house has had a bath and the dog is back in the tub, I begin the rinsing process of this big black dog followed by applying the conditioner and rinsing again. Now it is time for the towel drying process which soaks all five towels. He shakes off the water doing his best to help me as water splatters the walls and everything in the bathroom, including me.
Now that the dog is clean, my house is not! I first start with the tub which is now full of black hair. I rinse it all to the drain and reach in with a paper towel to grab the huge black harry mass and toss it in the trash. I wipe down everything in the bathroom including the floor before pulling the vacuum out to suck up the remaining hair. The bathroom is finally spotless as I make my way down the hall and into the living room soaking up the soapy water that the beast tracked through there. With the dog clean and the house clean, I change out of my wet clothes and sit down rubbing my lower back where it is aching horribly. This process makes me wish I had a smaller dog instead of a gigantic one!
I look down at Zeus who is lying again in his bed. He is so clean that his black coat looks beautiful, shiny, and silky, although if you were to look close, you would still see the small white dandruff flakes throughout his thick black and tan hair. These little white flakes are caused by his allergies along with ear infections, and one itchy dog. This is the reason for his bath every two weeks and his special shampoo and conditioner which are more expensive than the ones I use on my own hair.
I look out the open window and hear the birds singing, Zeus and I are so glad that bath time is over and try not to think about repeating this task again in another two weeks. Be walks to the back door whining to go outside. I open the door as he takes off into the yard at full speed. I pour a cup of coffee as I look out the window to see my big black dog digging furiously with dirt flying. You wouldn’t know it now, but the big black dog did get a bath!
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